Her dark eyes and my clandestine wedding ring.
I visualized my greedy hands on her bare breasts and imagined my babies in her belly.
The drug that drove me away was the same that always brought me back.
Her dark eyes and my clandestine wedding ring.
I visualized my greedy hands on her bare breasts and imagined my babies in her belly.
The drug that drove me away was the same that always brought me back.
There must be something in the water this week on the grid…Steamy! Thought mentioning the clandestine wedding ring was a great scene setter from the off. Really enjoyed your show rather than tell here!
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Oh thank you! For some reason, I felt really nervous to even post this. A bit outside my comfort zone and frame of reference 😉
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A brave Gargleblaster! Nice work!
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Thank you! You are kind. It feels more reckless than brave. I keep getting tempted to take it off 🙂
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This is just great, not a word wasted! Loved it.
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Oh, thank you!
I’m eager to head over and get caught up on the grid. There’s always so much good stuff.
Thank you again for your kind words 🙂
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You are a master of brevity!
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Tee! Hee! If only my husband thought so!!
(Thank you so much!)
Michelle
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Well, I certainly don’t see why you would feel tempted to take off this post – you managed to capture the character and provide an emotional depth to his situation and behaviour, in so few words. I’ve been skipping through the grid, opening posts without waiting to see who it is I’m reading, and I naturally assumed that the writer of this was male; the voice seems so real and natural. The fact that it’s “so far out of your comfort zone” makes this bit of creative writing that much more impressive,
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Wow! Thank you so much!
I’m so tickled that you thought a male wrote it. I did it purposely. As a woman, I tend to use too many words and well, you know…I only had 42 to work with 😉
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I too thought it was written by a man. In my experience, men really do tend to encourage their own passion with spoken fantasies of impregnation. Very primal, and kinda ironic.
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Hi Kathy!
Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I had hoped it sounded ‘real’ and like a man. Loved your perspective and extra bit of insight. Thanks for taking the time to comment!
Michelle
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Ooooo – I like this! You managed to tell a rich story in 42 words. Nice job.
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Wow! Thank you so much!
I was reading over at your site a couple of days ago. Your piece on family was poignant and moving…I especially loved your last line. I’m sorry I didn’t comment over there…I was multi-tasking 🙂
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Must agree with some of the other comments — that you have done a fabulous job of taking on something more slinky (with an “l” not “stinky”) than you are used to. (I’ve been doing that this week with my satirical piece and it has been making me so uncomfortable!) We know so much in so few words, and yet there is still mystery, which equals drama. The tension of leaving and returning is also implicit (or is that implied?). Anyway, great Gargleblaster! Which kinda sounds like a Batman exclamation: Great Gargleblasters, Batman!
xoxoxo
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Oh Meg,
I just love you! I’m giggling at the stinky vs slinky and yet it makes so much sense! Congrats to you on working outside your comfort zone as well…a great writer told me that by going outside your normal zone, it allows for the characters to be third dimensional. If we only write characters that mimic who we are or describe our personal experience…it’s less dimensional and therefore, less interesting. That said, it’s the hardest part of fiction and why I admire those who do it so well.
(I can’t wait to read your piece!!) xo
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