45 thoughts on “A Siren’s Sadness

  1. I really like how you’ve incorporated the drowning-in-sorrow imagery with the mermaid. I’m not expressing it well, but hope you know what I mean. πŸ™‚ Such a poignant take, clinched by the last line.

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    • Hi Jennifer and thank you so much!
      I appreciate that you picked up what I was trying to convey without too many clichΓ©’s. Drowning in sorrow seems quite used, but mermaids simply seem to be so sad–thought I’d try to figure out why. Thank you for stopping by and commenting!
      Michelle

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    • Hi Anita,
      Thank you for your kind words and perspective on the ending. This is why I love these prompts…each of us can see different (often hidden) parts. When I wrote this, I didn’t know that she committed suicide–maybe just drifted off to heal by herself. That said, I can totally see how the ending is just as you outlined. Thank you for taking the time to stop by and comment–I truly appreciate it! Michelle

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  2. grief is such a never ending flood sometimes, the flood of feelings and loss. You captured it so well drawing out the sadness of yearning for a second chance.
    Lovely writing.

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  3. That’s beautiful, Michelle!

    Not sure if you’re a Sinead fan, but look up “Jackie” by Sinead O’Conner when you get time.
    — scratch that, I’ll find it for you:

    Your poem made me remember it.
    xo

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    • Awwww…thanks friend!
      Writing to a prompt is a challenge that I’m not accustomed to. Isn’ there a “couch to 5k” thing I could use?!?!

      I love Sinead and used to listen to her a lot. I can’t wait to sit back and do the same with this song (I’ve not heard it)

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  4. Several people have mentioned how the repetition of lines comprised of only one word works to increase impact…I completely agree, but I also think that the alliteration in the words you chose to use (all “b” words) further increases the effect. Beautiful writing!

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    • Thank you so much! Obviously, I’m still learning. I even like to use alliteration in my standard non-fiction writing–I often worried that it was immature and trite. What a relief to know I’m not too far off.
      Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. This helps so much πŸ™‚

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  5. I love the “is Alexander alive” line — so compelling and desperate and sad. I came so close to using that too. And the pull of the ocean as grief. Poetry, my friend. Beautifully written, word by word.

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      • Yes, absolutely. I didn’t start writing poetry properly (I had only done ‘silly’ rhymes) until a few years ago. I found it was another way for me to listen to my soul – and then to make a little more sense out of what was flowing from it. Even when writing from prompts, each line and stanza revealed a little bit more of me.
        You write beautifully, by the way. πŸ™‚

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      • Thank you, dear friend. I would love to see your early pieces. I’m thoroughly enjoying your book and am about halfway through. I love how you “mapped” the chapters to each line of your anchor poem. Beautiful and brilliant. The only thing I wish was that it was in hard copy. I’d keep it on my desk and thumb through the pages throughout the day πŸ™‚

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      • Ahhh, thank you. :-). I will publish it in hard copy – and I’m hoping to do it soon. I always like the poetry books I buy to be in hard copy so I can flick through them and let the pages fall open where they will… and speak to me in perfect divine synchronicity for what I am needing to hear at the time. πŸ™‚
        My poetry has eluded my capture over the past few days…I have felt a poem there, waiting, but have been unable to recognise it and bring it to the page. But reading the beautiful blogs of my friends, and especially your poem today, inspires me to seek the corners of my mind where it may be hiding. :-). xo

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      • I have no doubt that the words will escape when it’s time–they always do with you. Perhaps they are just messing with you a bit πŸ™‚ How fabulous to have something waiting there that you can feel. It’s almost like savoring a pretty wrapped gift in the corner and holding out for as long as possible to open it and reveal the surprise!
        It’s so funny–my poetry completely sneaks up on me and it’s written in about 10-15 minutes. That said, I have a bit of tickler hanging out in my head, too…something with owls and sunflowers. Hmmm….

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      • Oh, lovely! Owls and sunflowers sounds great. And I have just found my elusive poem :-). I’ll post it in a while. But something I love to do with other poets (I don’t know if you’ve done this before) is to co-write a piece. Want to take it in turns to do a line each?… it’s just a bit of fun but is really interesting to do as the poets need to pick up each other’s thoughts as well as their own to make the poem flow. πŸ™‚ We can do it over email if you like… just a thought. πŸ™‚

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      • *Squeals in delight!
        Yes…that would be so much fun! I’ve seen others do it and am completely enthralled.
        You start first and e-mail when the mood strikes. I’ll do what I can to go next.
        Now, I’m nervous. Yikes!
        (Can’t wait to read what the corners of your mind finally revealed. I get your new posts via e-mail, so I shouldn’t miss anything!)

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      • Cool!! I’ll find a line to start us off…
        And the poem I’ve just posted is about taking a breath – so no need to be nervous, we hold each other’s hands as we walk through some lines…that’s all. πŸ™‚ And it’s just fun!! Can’t wait πŸ™‚ x

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