Until the day I die, I’ll never forget those glassy, unblinking eyes. Sizing up my hips and breasts with the look of remembrance where his experienced hands had been hours before.
Each time had me tasting the bitter good-bye in his hello kiss. His tongue telegraphed the warning message and I ignored it. As in the beginning, he flashed me the smile that never reached his eyes–eyes that always said so much and so little at the same time.
For the countless time in the last two years, he let me walk away and followed up with a text message the following morning while I was weeding my garden.
I always have a hangover after being with you
His words triggered the itch even though I was determined to stop the cycle. He was like nettle and I was tired of the prick.
Me, too. I’m going to disappear for awhile
Me, too
We can’t keep doing this
Augh. Really, bastard? You’re gonna say it again? But I hardened and resolved.
I’m just going to grow shit and write shit. You won’t hear from me
The conversation continued like it typically did. Both of us confessing remorse and promising to be better. All the while, I weeded and snatched and pulled and plowed the earth to make it whole. I took off my gloves only long enough to reply to each and every last nail he put in the coffin.
He finally ended it with a promise to love me forever (rain or shine) and said he prayed that I’d have a beautiful garden. I prayed that he’d have a beautiful life and meant it. He could always pull that last bit of harshness away and find my soft truth.
The garden that summer was a complete disaster. I nurtured, teased and tried to tickle life to the surface. The result was lifeless, pale-green and lackluster. Storms demolished the heirloom tomatoes, drought sucked the nutrients from the soil, and over-zealous weeding plucked out seedlings before they had a chance to grow.
Typical me. Fluttering, fixing and fucking up. Making mountains while they were still mole-hills. His memory continued to plague me though the vision of his cruel eyes were buried deep in my darkest places.
Places that only he had been.
How different would life be had I not glanced his way? Had I not reached out when his eyes spoke to me. Had I recognized the emptiness behind his allure. He didn’t even see it himself until we were too far in.
I never meant to hurt you
You are my one true love
The view of my gardens both sickened and delighted me. Flower and vegetable beds each bore a tribute to our “last” times together. Roses for the first sweet good-bye and pink peonies for an encore the following week. Daisies for a resolve to do better and an entire bed of zinnias when I caved again. We were each consumed by cocaine-laced kisses that devoured us and left a path of pain and regret in its wake.
Grow shit. Write shit.
It was all shit. No words to feed the craving in my body and nothing that would grow in the wasteland I’d created.
Except for one patch.
A small section in the woodland where I’d carelessly thrown seeds of peppermint. Neglected and forgotten, the mint spread and flourished filling the air with a faint scent of recognition. Just as Hades intended when he created the persistent little plant.
In a flurry, I yanked out stems by the root hoping to contain the infiltration and keep it out of my failing corn patch. Each morning, new life appeared with more vigor until I couldn’t kill it any longer. I surrendered and laid in its bed of invasion. Wisps of peppermint circled my halo of hair and the cool, sticky leaves clung to my thighs. It was then that the phone vibrated and rang the tone reserved just for him.
Are you growing shit?
My fingers sketched the same expanse that his hands had navigated on my body the months before. Lines of regret, scars of passion and the memory of being full right before he emptied me again.
My gardens never seem to flourish either 🙂 I love the voice you have used here, the guilty pleasure/ pain of an addiction.
LikeLike
Oh thank you! This is the first piece of fiction I’ve ever written and was a complete mess when I hit “publish.”
I’m much more at home in my other two blogs about kids and life…this little space is certainly my guilty little pleasure. Thanks for stopping by new friend!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know it’s not the point of the story really, but I could relate to the mint infiltration – I’ve killed (or wildlife has eaten) everything in my garden except the *%#$&* mint 🙂
I like the tone and voice of the story. I think many of us have been drawn to a flame even though we knew we’d get burned.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi! I loved that you picked that out. Every year I resist planting it because it’s so invasive!! Argh! And you’re right…bunnies don’t eat the mint 🙂
LikeLike
This is a great story. I truly enjoyed it. Nicely done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow! Thank you so much! My first attempt at fiction, so I was a bit nervous 🙂 I appreciate your kind words!
LikeLike
So glad to have found your blog. I LOVE your take on the prompt. What a great story…wicked good writing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow! What a fantastic comment to start my day. I rarely write over here and this is my first attempt at fiction. So glad to have found you, too…I know that I will learn a lot. Thank you so much for stopping by 🙂
LikeLike
I will learn much from you, too. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
First of all, welcome to the speakeasy! Second, I can’t believe this is your first attempt at fiction. Your narrator’s voice is fantastic and believable – and I love that her only interaction with him is through text messages. Great take on the prompts! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Suzanne,
Thank you so much for the warm welcome! I’ve been keeping a ‘stalker view’ of the Speakeasy since late last year when I noticed my blogger buddies writing for it. The talent you attract is amazing and I’ll admit to being a bit of a groupie 🙂
Thank you, as well, for your kind words about my story. Dialogue is difficult for me which is why I’ve only been writing non-fiction (on my “real” blog) and decided to observe and learn before jumping. It’s also the first time I’ve used profanity to any extent, so this can be considered a complete jumping off the ledge.
Thanks for providing a safe space to do so. xo
LikeLike
Excellently done! I laughed out loud at the double meaning in “He was like nettle and I was tired of the prick.” That just amused me to no end!
I loved the whole thing, now go write another Li’l Hummingbird, fiction suits you as well as poetry and photography! 🙂 xo
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh dear, Jennie! Of course, you would pick that up!
“nettle” was a complete serendipitous accident. I was in the middle of writing this when my “daily dictionary” app dinged on my phone with the word of the day–nettle! The sentence vomited out and seemed to fit. Tee! Hee! This was devilish fun to write…and for the record, I haven’t planted any peppermint since 1991 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m happy then that the word of the day was “nettle”! Isn’t it funny the odd places you can get a line from? I think it’s my favorite part of writing 🙂
I planted mint once, praying mantis came and ate it all LOL Apparently I can’t grow something that most people have to destroy so it won’t overtake everything else!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So, you have “wise praying mantis” instead of “wise grasshopper” 😉
(I have a wicked photo of a praying mantis…she was a beauty!)
LikeLike
I can’t believe this is your first piece of fiction. Judging by your successful start, you must have so much just waiting to get out! What a great story, and a great voice. I really enjoyed this and could completely see it all happening before me. Nicely done!
LikeLike
Wow! Thank you so much! This is a huge compliment coming from you 🙂
Just one of those lucky things…it took me less than 20 minutes to write. I’ve been learning and listening to the Speakeasy space for awhile 🙂
I so appreciate your comments. Hope you are having a great week!
LikeLike
This: the bitter good-bye in his hello kiss
Wow. Such a great phrase. And the rest is really well done, too — just had to point out that phrase because it popped out at me. Garden as metaphor is one of my favorites and one that I think a lot of people relate to, You do the metaphor proud!
LikeLike
Thank you so much! Seriously, I debated on that sentence for a bit and hoped it wasn’t too cheesy. Thank you so much for extracting that little bit out of there.
I like the garden metaphor, too and it seemed to work. Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting!
LikeLike
Damn. This is gorgeous.
LikeLike
Oh my goodness! Thank you so much…what a wonderful comment to start the day with.
Thanks for stopping and commenting.
LikeLike
Ah,that vicious cycle-can so relate to it!Excellent debut to this great writing challenge:-)Though I still cringe at profanity,the rest of it felt like sinfully decadent chocolate cake topped with delicious cool peppermint balls 😉 Looking forward to reading more from you and I won’t be surprised if you win-am sure going to vote for this 😀
Atreyee
LikeLike
Thank you so much! You are a gem and am completely honored (and now hungry) to be associated with chocolate cake.
Thank you so much for the note on profanity, too. If only you knew me…you’d understand the angst behind using those words. I even took them out (especially in the title) because it was so uncomfortable. That said, I knew they needed to stay. The person this story was channeled after was the only person who could ever bring a 4-letter word forth from my lips and knew it fit the character. I’m completely touched that you picked up on it. Thank you again…your words mean more than you know!
Michelle
LikeLike
Aww,you are so kind hearted-am glad to make your acquaintance Michelle 🙂 I am old school and in out times even men mouthing 4 letter words was considered low class but I sure get your pov-sometimes a character in the story needs to speak in a particular way or authenticity would be lost and here it fit in your piece:-) Looking forward to seeing more of your writing 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
And, I’m looking forward to seeing more of yours! The first piece was delicious!
And, if you want ever want a profanity free zone, feel free to visit my “real” blog where I keep it to a minimum 🙂
So glad our paths crossed dear friend. Have a fantastic day!
LikeLike
Personally, I loved the profanity. Because I loved seeing you relax enough to use it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You know me well, Christy! Why am I so squeamish that way?
That said, “shit” was the only word that fit
(ha! a poet and didn’t know it!)
*off to read your poem….
LikeLike
Loved how the texting went back and forth as she gardened. I found it a bit amusing. Great job on the prompt! ♥
LikeLike
Thank you so much! Thought the drama needed a little silly 🙂
LikeLike
Man, this woman needs to get out of the house and quit gardening. I hope she resists the temptation but I know she won’t . Good write.
LikeLike
Tee! Hee! You are SO right!
Thanks for stopping by and for your kind words 🙂
LikeLike
Congrats!!!
LikeLike
Congrats?!? Did something happen? I’ve been at graduation all morning and out of touch!
LikeLike
Yes! Your story took 2nd place in Speakeasy. Woohoo!
LikeLike
Thank you so much for letting me know and more importantly for connecting with me this week. I’m so glad out paths crossed, Meg 🙂
LikeLike
Me too! Big pat on the back!
LikeLike
See? We all knew you could write fiction! Congratulations 🙂 And if it was you graduating, congrats on that too 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you so much! You are very kind.
Graduation was for my middle school son 🙂
LikeLike
Well congrats to him then!
LikeLike
I can’t believe this is your first attempt at fiction. This really is very good, Michelle. I love the narrator’s voice you have, and I also love your word selection.
LikeLike
Awww…thanks! I’m learning by reading and that’s why I was so excited to see your piece this morning. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Baby steps!
LikeLike
I will look over anything you like! This truly was fantastic, though. I can’t wait to see what else you come up with.
LikeLike
I think this may have been the best piece of fiction I’ve read in a loooooong time. Very well done!
LikeLike
Oh my goodness!! Really?!?
It took me all of 20 minutes to write and about that long to edit. One of those stories that popped up and matched the challenge prompt. Thanks for stopping by dear friend. You are a gem! xo
LikeLike